Meditation, we all know its beneficial and we all know how amazing it can be for bringing harmony and a centredness back into our lives, but do we do it? Nope, or not enough anyway. I certainly don’ do enough of it.
A few weeks ago a saw a blog someone had written about meditating on forgiveness and I fully intended to give this a go. Did it happen? No. Well yes and no.
I made an alteration, and here’s how and why I found meditation plus visualization works more effectively for me.
Since returning from travel, Marcus and I have been starting a business, looking for work, paying off debts, living with parents and so yes we’ve had some stressful and worrying times and this has affected our moods and outlook.
But last week something changed. I couldn’t be bothered, I was tired of this game of negativity circling around us so when a bad mood came, I refused to give in. Of course the worries were still there and, being me,I awoke at 5am, thinking.
As I laid there in bed, I decided I would attempt this meditation.
I closed my eyes and remembered the idea of meditating on forgiveness and I tried, but it didn’t click. So I thought more deeply. Suddenly a saying sprung to mind, something about holding on to hot coals only burns you…
So I combined the two.
I visualized a hot coal in my hand and this coal was something needing forgiveness I quietly whispered why blame was useless, I whispered forgiveness and I let the coal go, it felt great.
I then repeated the process for each little thing, forgiving each mistake I had made, each thing Marcus had done which annoyed or hurt me, and I forgave the universe for all the unlucky things that happen.
I spent a little time then being grateful and allowing the positive things to flow back into my mind. To remember all the things negative thinking had displaced.
Afterwards I lay there, half asleep, I had a dream/vision of goddesses, welcoming me back. I visualized the norse goddess, Freya, Luna of the mooon, Gaia the earth goddess, and others I do not even know, supporting me and becoming me, it was a most enlightening experience.
Now I’m not saying these goddesses actually graced me with their presence, but maybe each is a mere reflection of a part of myself I had lost. I imagine Freya to be my strength, she brings to my mind a feminine power and hardiness. I imagine Luna to be my calmness and togetherness, and the other divinities t represent other aspects, my belief and faith in the future and in love, my connection with the earth and grounding, my wisdom and my energy.
I felt renewed and for the first time in so long I can barely remember, I felt myself. My actual self, not the version of myself I had recently been, not the weak, self pitying part of me, lacking in confidence and power.
I’m not sure if I had just reached a point where I was ready to find inner strength, whether the meditation was so fantastic or whether the full moon fuelled my enlightenment and I really don’t care what it was, it worked and when Marcus awoke and I explained my experience, he also seemed lightened. Like the weight of my negativity was also lifted from his shoulders.
It has been such a blessing and I feel so much more confident and happy, Marcus seems to have picked up on some of this as well and we are having a much more positive time, even though nothing has changed. The things which worried and stressed us are still there but they are not coming between us and our happiness. My being lighter and freer, seems to have really benefited Marcus almost as much as me. Its win win!