Tag Archives: fail

Friday 13th Naaaa…try Friday 6th!! But today….today is a new day!

I thought Friday the 13th was supposed to be a bad day, well for me its definitely Friday the 6th. I have to say yesterday was one of the most frustrating days of my life. Well of my recent life where I can remember how I actually felt.

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Still it was pretty damn intense and I was doing my utmost to stay positive and keep this new, upbeat version of Kirst In charge. So, it went a little something like this:

First thing in the morning everything was great, I prepared my protein smoothie for lunch, the birds were singing, the sun was shining and I walked to work with a spring in my step.

Upon arriving at work and spending the morning working away I stopped for lunch, got out my protein shaker and opened it up, took one spoonful and…..well….something was wrong with it. Took a few moments to realize I had forgotten to put the protein in the protein shake…Duh!

But no, its fine, I will add protein and eat it when I get home, I have fruit for now.

About an hour later, as I turned and was about to lower myself onto the lavatory I heard a loud plop and yep…..mobile phone out of the pocket and into the toilet!

Needless to say I was rather annoyed here seen as I have zero money at the moment and phones can be rather expensive but I managed to find the funny side and decided it must be the way of the divine, interfering to make sure I have a good, working phone for my upcoming travels. My old phone was 2 years old so may well have been due a break anyway. And so on my walk home, I once again enjoyed the birdsong and sunshine with a smile….

And then I got home to a letter from the dreaded tax man. It seems I didn’t do my tax returns from the end of my being self employed which ended 18 months ago. I had fine, I also was informed I needed to do my tax return and there would be further fines for all the time it was now late. Damn, they were right. I was not in the best place last year, after stopping my self employment I literally just put everything aside, DONE and did nothing more with it. The scary part was I had also ditched pretty much everything I owned before travelling last year so I wasn’t even 100% sure I would have my receipts etc…. I mean I don’t THINK I’m that stupid but as I said, I wasn’t in the best place.
Anyhow, after getting my flu ridden dad to find out my stuff he had packed away for me before I went away, we found the paperwork, phew! But I had completely misplaced my log in details for thee online tax return site, and so had to apply for more, which may take 7 days. I leave the country in 11 days…and the anxiety starts again. Will I be fined more for the delay? What if I don’t receive the letter? ARGH! I called them but after waiting for 35 minutes decided I was wasting my time, I would just take some breaths and let things be.

So I trundled off to tesco to buy a ne phone. After deliberating for 20 minutes on which one to get, I was told at the counter its not in stock…brilliant! I got another.

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I got home, dropped the toilet roll in the toilet…dropped my Selenite crystal(for calming, stress relief) and, yep, smashed it, I proceeded to struggle getting new phone connected because of course it wont just be simple for me…by this point I decided to just go to bed, I was starting to think making it through the day alive would be a massive accomplishment.

So I bent down to give my dad a goodnight hug before leaving, my feet slipped and I ended up just falling onto him on the sofa, luckily it was quite a slow motion fall and so was relatively funny but still, perfect fail to the end of the biggest day of fails…of my life….I’m fairly sure I’m not even exaggerating there.

Bye-guys

Alas! Today is a new day, I am up early. I am in my fitness clothes ready to make up for my lost exercise yesterday, I am feeling positive it is going to be a better day than yesterday…watch this space!

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Filed under bad day, unlucky

Homeward bound, And I thought the leaving was the hard part….This is terrifying!

7 months ago I gave up my old life, I got rid of, gave away and left behind pretty much everything and everyone I’d ever known. I was setting out on a new path with the man I loved, we were going to have this big brilliant exciting future in the Philippines and then maybe travel and eventually come home successful, happy and ready for our happily ever after…

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I was scared but I was so excited, I felt like life was really turning around and we were finally getting to start our life together, after waiting for my fella who was in Afghan for 2 years to come home. Letting go was hard, I cried a lot, I wondered if I was making the right move and I thought I was doing the scariest thing I’d ever have to do…But I had my man and together we would make it work… I had made the right decision, we had made the right decision…First fail

Turns out we were wrong…oh so very wrong!

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Now, 7 months later, 4 of which were spent enduring life in an awful part of the Philippines, dealing with corruption, and disappointments business wise, having only each other pretty much for company, only each other to vent to and take it all out on, it was hot, we were teasy and it was difficult! There were no places of quiet, nowhere to go and find calm, nowhere to g and trek, explore we were trapped and it wasn’t fun!…Making a life and work fail

Following a trip away where we realise we are much happier away fro that place and did indeed have a relationship worth fighting for, we decided drastic action was needed. So I arranged to go to Australia and the fella was due to meet me there after his trip to India…

hh

yeh that didn’t work.
Time apart for him and his realizations in India made him decide to embark upon some journey of self discovery, minus the emotional baggage AKA me…so relationship fail (for now)

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I was devastated but we stayed talking and decided although were not together, there’s a good chance we could be again one day and, bear in mind I am simplifying things, I was able to accept this. I wont go into it but the guy does have things he needs to sort and in retrospect me being in his face wouldn’t help those issues…anyway so I set out to get a grip and do this travel thing everyone does.

Problem was, travel was something we’d planned together, everywhere I went I felt his missing presence as a physical thing, it felt like I was carrying around all this wistful sadness. I tried, I went through the motions, I made a few friends on my travels, I did 2 months in Australia and a month in Newzealand…I explored, I spent a lot of time and energies working on ‘me’…yet, I still don’t feel like I have managed to get a grip…I mean yesterday I cried as soon as I awoke, I barely sleep and I still feel like i’m not quite here, I have been here and there but a part of me has been elsewhere…I am clearly not getting a grip just yet..another fail

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So now it’s time to go home, I’m terrified. Going home means facing everything, out here I have been able to distance myself from reminders, from the things I’ve given up and lost, I have concentrated on being a new person, a better person but suddenly I feel like I haven’t changed at all. Being faced with the reality of life, my old life, people, places, the monotony of the life I left behind really makes me wonder, what did I do? Where did it all go wrong? I was so happy, so sure and so ready to make this wonderful step…How did it fall apart?

I thought leaving was the scary part, then I thought the separation was, then I thought the dealing with stuff out there by myself would be but it turns out the worst bit of it all is the returning home.

Don’t get me wrong I’m excited to see my loved ones and to spend time catching up with them but personally I feel like I’ll be facing each and every one of them embarrassed and slightly ashamed that not only could I not make it work, but that I was so smug before I left. So sure I had it all sorted.

Oh how the fates love to humble us!

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Filed under adventure, Australia, battle, change, discoveries, fails, failure, home, travel

Attention span fail…But I got some cool/random stuff and here’s a yoga clip!

My aim this morning was to write a blog for my fitness site about yoga to support a yoga clip I made. This is what happened:

I started reading some information online and found myself humming to myself. After realizing I was home alone this turned into a full blown karaoke song…or two…and yes this includes standing up doing a full performance. I then decided I needed some radio!

So I manage to sit back down and content myself just humming along with the radio as opposed to my more extravagant solo work and get back to my research.

Somehow I get from yoga to club swinging and remember I really need to get some 1lb clubs so I start researching…FYI typing club swinging UK comes up with some rather interesting results, one must remember to enter ‘Indian’ club swinging for a more savoury result.

Of course so far I had several amusing experiences I needed to share with facebook, which led to a few conversations on clubs and such, I made connections to encourage a friend, and amused several with my apparent wit!

OK so back to the research. Oh wait I’d best check my email for order confirmation…oh there’s my confirmation for the jade circle workshop I booked in Ireland. Hmm what do I need for this I wonder…more shopping!

Mm, My back aches at this point so I get up to make more tea(3rd cup), and look at yoga for back ache, try out a few moves. Yes good. Oh wait is that the time??

So basically 2 hours after sitting down to write a serious fitness blog I am now the proud owner of some Indian clubs, some yoga pants and a jade egg!
Ironically I now sit here to write a blog about this.

Not to admit failure…Here is the said yoga clip, Heart Salutations! Just a short one, give it a go.  I dont thint it helps with attention spans but it feels good 😉

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Filed under atttention, fail, fitness, funny, indian clubs, jade egg, salutatioons, yoga