Lose everything…Find yourself!

Finding yourself…I process often starting with the losing of everything else.

Ever tried to make some journey of self discovery whilst your content in your home surrounded by good people with a good job, money in the bank?? No??? Well me neither.
I’m not even sure its possible, after all why would you even consider your not just a perfect reflection of your perfect little life?

I’m sure some people are content, settle, find enough things to keep them oblivious to the other versions of themselves, the strengths and character traits left undiscovered, but I am not one of them.

There have been several times in my life when things have just seemingly fallen apart, I hopped on a downwards spiral and in retrospect, it needn’t have happened. None of these times were out of my control…I subconsciously made decisions leading to these tough times, why??

Well I am currently working through one such time and it has just hit me. I am not a settler. I enjoy being happy, I am optimistic, I appreciate what I have when I have something good but I am also a dreamer…I want life, and lots of it. I want to experience and to feel and to grow as much as possible and that’s just not possible when your content!

Don’t get me wrong I don’t sabotage perfectly good aspects of my life, only the dead weight aspects, the jobs I don’t like anyway but they provide SECURITY, the relationships in which I don’t prosper but they provide COMPANIONSHIP, the materialistic gains I convince myself i need to provide COMFORT and ACCOMPLISHMENT..These things are difficult to let go of, they are programmed into us as ants and needs from a very young age and we fight to hold on to them…

But…

if you manage to let go, if you manage to free yourself from these preconditioned wants and needs you may well find yourself on a journey of self discovery, a journey bestowing much more than security, but freedom and strength,
More than companionship but the confidence to be alone in your own skin, and also the experience of and power to converse with, connect with and essentially bond with a multitude of people, to really know them, to open yourself up and find people with whom you bond on a deep and meaningful level.
More than Comfort, but growth and expansion of you, mentally, physically and emotionally
and lastly more than accomplishment, you aquire, memories, experiences, new skills and a new mindset which creates more dreams, a brighter future and the knowledge that anything is possible, you have done this, you have come this far, nothing is out of reach…

Of course you just have to give up almost everything you hold dear, make that leap of faith and go for it. Fortunately for me, my subconscious ensures I do this, I only have to make the journey, not the decision to do so. But for many they are more inclined to listen to reason, stick to what is ‘right’ and ‘safe’ and so miss out on opportunities which really are what life is all about.

I’m not saying everyone should give up thee things they love and run away to the other side of the world like I have, but maybe take some time to consider, really listen to that inner voice, open yourself up and feel, are you truly happy with the person you have become, do you have the potential to be more, do you feel life is passing you by? If this is you, then I am writing this for you.

This is scary, you will cry ALOT you will doubt yourself, you will doubt everything you once believed in, there will be hard days and there will be good days but its worth it because this is life, and this is what will make us the most interesting people in the OAP home! 😉

After some serious-ness…I give you heaven on …um…Philippine soil!

 

They call it samala cake….I call it magic!

Having gone to work with the fella yesterday I spent the day chilling with the Philippino guys on the course and over te last 7 weeks of the course we’ve beome…um….friends(?)…Well they talk to me which, out here, is as close to friends as it comes.

They often offer me food which I usually decline, you know on the basis that its pigs eyes or something like and to be honest I’m just not ready for THAT level of culture.

Last week I had leftover baking which we needed to get out of the house, my partner and i are big into fitness, we have one cheat day a week buut my willpower sucks, if its in the house i will eat it packman stylee!   Anyway so I sent the leftovers and the guys loved it…fabulous right?

Yep apart from then, they insisted i try their cake…Ive tried some rice cake before and it was slimy ans stodgy and not nice tasting, in all honestly I was offended that they dared to label something of the like ‘cake’ it was very misleading and I wont lie i was a little outraged!

Let me just say I am  massive food fan, cake in particular is my speciality and it rages me when its just not as describes…I wont even go into the time I was served ‘cheeseake’ in La Palma.   There wasn’t even a buttery biscuit base!!  Hellions!

So yesterday these Philippino lovelies all but forced me to accept some cake, upon inspection it was squidgy, sticky, stodgy and it had cheese, yes CHEESE on top!  I nibbled the corner whilst they all watched all mmmmm yes OK..actually was that? is it? did I….Did I like that???  More nibbles…I think I did, I do!  What a treat, once you get used to the consistency its actually rather tasty and somehow refreshing!  WHAT?  Yeh you heard…a refreshing sticky cake with cheese on top.

Therefore if you ever come out to the Philippines, try some Samala cake, its very local and available at all sorts of vendors from street to those in the malls and supermarkets, there are a few varieties so dont stop at the first hurdle, persevere and I assure you its worth it when you find ‘the one’!

Kirst Vs Philippines…My most serious ‘Kirst moment’/event as yet!

Now I’ve always thought the health and safety system in the UK is a little excessive…OK I admit I think some of it is outright ludicrous and actually had negative effect prohibiting the use of common sense both in the workplace and in every day life.

I mean if you trip over your own shoelace you can probably blame and sue the shoelace company for making laces which haven’t stayed tied, I expect the poor shoelace companies are having all sorts of issues trying to find fabrics they can use to adhere to regulations making sure people don’t trip over…OK I made this up and its a little OTT but you get the idea and I’m sure a lot of you feel the same,

So, upon coming to the Philippines I was expecting a nice break from all the rules and regulations and a little bit of common sense usage and for the most part this is as expected. Some cars just don’t have seatbelts (our jeep for instance, but it comes with a handlebar to hold on to), people ride motorbikes in sandals and shorts, the pavements are uneven, have many items which could be tripped up and down, have buses and cars parked sometimes 2/3 wide into the road and on the pavement forcing you to walk on the busy road and the amount of debris left lying around makes for an obstacle course wherever you go. This is the adventure we were expecting, the different life.

I must admit though I was not expecting the holes in the pavement, 2 by about 3 feet wide and down into the sewer below, at some parts the whole strip of pavement looks to be falling inwards. Some areas have been covered. When I say covered I mean a few bits of 2 x 4 which are rotted and breaking or some metal sheets which have bent in due to cars driving over them. Some are completely uncovered and this, my friends, is the type of hole of which I had an…um…’experience’.

So its dark, street lights?? don’t be silly! There are rubbish carts parked along the side of the curb and the road is busy. I pass between two rubbish carts to get to a bit of pavement…which incidentally is exactly where the hole is. You would have thought it was done on purpose, why in the world would you leave a walkway between carts to a hole in the pavement on a dark street where the carts are blocking out the light coming from car headlights???
So anyhow I am incredibly lucky. Being of scatty mind I often walk around in my own world hopping and skipping down the road and in this instance it saved me serious injury….possibly even my life!

As I hopped up onto the non existent bit of curb, I managed to jump into a 4 foot deep hole. I wont pretend I had any idea what was going on. In the brief moment of wonderment, you know where 2 seconds feels like 2 minutes, I had the strangest feeling, I remember thinking: am I falling? I feel like I’m falling, I can see the pavement coming towards my face…but…I’m upright…I’m upright, that’s not right, what is this magic??….I then heard my partner shouting if I was OK, looked around and realized, Ahhh I’m in a hole I know now and also FUCKING OUCH!

I apparently sprung right out and then stood doubled over y the hole…i wont lie it was the worst pain I’ve had for a long time. I had managed to smash my thigh on a big piece of jutted out concrete on the way down, jarring my hip and knee and causing both bruising and scratches…I had no idea how seriously I was hurt, if id actually damaged my knee or hip or both all I knew was I needed to catch my breath and also how glad I was it was night and there are few people there to see…Oh the embarrassment!

It sounds awful and it was, I was in a lot of pain and couldn’t walk properly for days but it was clear by the next morning that my hip and knee were sore but not damaged and the area of impact would indeed heal.

 

In retrospect I was very lucky for several reasons…

If I had stepped in just one foot, you can only imagine the damage, serious rib or even face planting damage, pulled or even dislocated hip joints, neck, broken arms etc…

If I had fallen a few days sooner after the monsoon the water would have been much higher, there would have been a very real risk of being washed away under the pavement and droning.

The particular hole had little debris in the bottom, upon inspection some of the others have metal spikes, juts of concrete and other ankle breaking or skin penetrating obstacles.

It was only a few days after this I developed my allergy from the previous post, I still don’t know what caused it, if it was indeed an allergy or something caught from the dirty water and grime in the bottom of the hole, my trainers stunk of faeces the next day! Urgh, whatever it was its taken quite some time to feel clean again and I can assure you I have well and truly learned my lesson!

Now I have my wits about me at all times out there in that there danger zone I now call home, although I’m sure Mrs Philippines still has a few painful surprises lined up for me.
Everywhere I go I see hazards, Live wires hanging down, so many stray animals, possible rabies carriers, mosquitoes galore, possibly malaria or dengue carriers and then just the general roads/driving style….watch this space!

 

 

Ever get that feeling where you end up at a destination and wonder how the hell you got there?? … Welcome to my life!

A year ago I was sitting in my lovely 2 bed flat blogging about my new training as a fitness instructor and the leaving of my office job, I was branching out into self employment…..Now??? Well right now I am enjoying the aircon in my bedroom of a little house I rent in thee Philippines with my partner. I have no job, no money and am completely unsure of what’s next, by following my blog you will be taking the journey with me.

I promise there will be moments where you question my sanity, my IQ, and probably my decision making, but there will also be laughs, adventures and an insight into a different world. My world, firstly a little bit about me and then you can decide if you want to hear more….

My name, obviously, is Kirsty Jones, Kirst for short and if I were to describe myself…well lets just say I probably have a pretty warped view. I see myself as a respectable woman, independent, strong, a little scatty at times but generally in control of myself.
My friends use words like crazy, random, hilarious(i like this one), different, special(we all know what those means), clumsy, jammy, the list goes on but maybe your getting a picture already??

In reality I am a mixture of contradictions.
I am unbelievably accident prone, yet I am lucky! To some I am a nice and sweet girl, yet I am also known as incredibly scary when I rage, and I am sometimes called a bitch(usually whilst laughing), I can spend hours doing my hair and make-up followed by a week without even picking up the hairbrush, I can be completely wise and give fantastic advice or there are times I find it hard to make proper sentences.

Basically, I am all over the place, which makes for some pretty random adventures. Very rarely does anything happen to me on purpose, I very much ride the tide of life, completely oblivious to what adventure or mishap will come next. I embrace each and every experience, good and bad and I don’t sugar coat it. If I poop myself or flash the neighbours, you will know about it. For the record I haven”t yet pooped myself, but the flashing bit..well I have several stories for that later 😉